Singing the Grocery Day Blues

Today is grocery day and I hate grocery day, but we're out of food. By 'out of food' I don't mean third world famine 'out of food', I mean I have half the ingredients to make something that I may want to cook but let's have cereal for dinner instead 'out of food'.



The total trip to the grocery is usually traumatic to me like I think they should change the term 'going postal' to 'going grocery', it's that bad . It's the making the list, trying to plan meals, make sure I remember everything, pack up my reusable grocery bags and off I go to the store.


Then when I get there, I usually end up running into the same people over and over (funny how that happens). They usually fit into one of three categories: The confused senior citizen that feels the need to stop their motorized scooter suddenly and frequently causing me to nearly run into them every time. When are they going to put brake lights on those things?; The time warped citizen fresh from Communist Russia that stands in the aisle glassy eyed, gape mouthed because this is the first time they've seen more than one brand of toilet paper. First time in a grocery store, Comrade? Then finally, there's the family reunion people. You know the ones that run into each other in the grocery and park in the middle of the aisle catching up since they last saw each other at Aunt Carol's youngest boy's, daughter's godchild's first communion party. GET ME OUT OF HERE!

I then try to quickly and efficiently navigate through the crowd in the aisles and gather everything on my list and try to remember anything I forgot. I pass the obligatory harried mother with a screaming infant (Which reminds me... do I need vodka for martini's?) anyway off I go to the checkout. At the store I go to they have a no limit self check out line that I always go through. I use the cloth reusable bags and when I am checked out by a person and want to use my own bags, I get a Look. Really, you sell them here. How are you surprised? I think it may be a Midwest thing.

Then when I get home, my husband helps me unload car. As we put groceries away my husband will say "Did you remember that we're almost out of..(insert Toilet Paper, Paper Towels, Cat Food here)? DAMN IT! We'll go back next week.

After all this, I am too exhausted to cook. Frozen pizza anyone?